Larryisms: Book One, by Larry John

For the record, Larry John seems like a nice guy. He seems like the type who could swig back a few beers, tell a few stories, and eat so much off the grill that you feel like an anorexic supermodel standing next to him. And to that I say: Bravo, Larry John.

However, a good drinking buddy does not a good author make, so I’m just gonna call this one like I see it right from the get-go: at best, this is a bathroom book, plain and simple. At worst, well, it’s a waste of money, but I got it for free, so no worries on my end.

Life Before Man, by Margaret Atwood

I’ve commented before that Margaret Atwood can do no wrong in my book. I haven’t read all of what she’s written, but even her mediocre stuff is better than most other writer’s best. She’s one of the few writers whose work I will read without questioning, without reading reviews, or even without perusing the back jacket. If it’s Atwood, it’s in.

Having several cans of clams from that shopping trip where I was duped by the Trojan Bear, I dreamed up another way to use them besides clam chowder. How could I resist Made in USA wild caught clams at $1 a 6.5 oz can (compare with $2.85 for same at Safeway). I'm not in a position where I'm forced to bargain hunt, but the steep rise in prices at the grocery store is like throwing the gauntlet down for a personal challenge to see if I can do better. So my version of clam stuffing is born.

Clam Stuffing

1 6.5 oz can chopped clams
1 8 oz can sliced water chestnuts
1 6 oz. box Stovetop Italian Style Roasted Garlic stuffing mix
1 Tbs. olive oil
mint sprig

Smooth experience. No wonder LoCoco's Italian Pizzeria has been around so long. This family-run restaurant has it down. From the moment you walk in the door, you are immersed in a friendly yet not too tightly cozy atmosphere with a menu that's been honed from experience to local favorites.

I enjoyed the inventiveness of their House Special Salad, which included romaine lettuce with bleu cheese, pecans and currants. Doesn't health, taste and good looks fairly scream out of that photo?

The McSweeney's Joke Book of Jokes Books

Another review for good ol' Pajiba is up - this time on The McSweeney's Joke Book of Jokes Books.

I wasn't expecting to enjoy this one as much as I did - but there are a few pieces I revisted more than once, and each new read elicited genuine laughter. It was well worth the cost of purchase. Click here to read my review.

In a nutshell: While not every one is a winner, I have to say The McSweeney's Joke Book of Jokes Books is pretty damn good overall. But damn the cover creeps me out.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

Just for fun and because I was curious, I threw together a quick vegan menu to see how much protein it contained. A vegan diet excludes all forms of meat, fish, dairy products, and eggs.

The menu below provides 60 grams of protein for 1700 calories. It does not include processed items like wheat gluten and soy-protein-based foods (veggie burgers, fake deli meats and cheeses). It even lacks wheat products, breads, tofu, and soy milk. Not saying those can't be part of a vegan diet, but I didn't want to boost the protein with anything processed.

Time magazine asked Rachael Ray 10 questions, some of which are actually interesting, probably because they were submitted by readers. Whenever Rachael has a new cookbook out, she goes and makes the rounds, talking to reporters and appearing on talk shows. Rightnow, she's promoting the Yum-O! The Family Cookbook, which was released on April 29. Here are a few of the highlights, but you can listen to the interview and see all 10 questions here.

Why do you use extra-virgin olive oil on everything? Katherine Hote, PHOENIX

That's how my family cooks. I try to cook a little bit of everything, but when it comes to what I enjoy, it's Mediterranean because that's what I am most familiar with.

Saturday, by Ian McEwan

Oh, shit. I've gone ahead and ruined a good book.

My biggest gripe with Saturday lies not with McEwan or his work, but rather with myself. It was my fault, you see, for reading Saturday immediately after reading Atonement, a novel which blew me away and knocked me senseless. In short, I was setting myself up for failure, for Saturday is no Atonement.

Men Like Bars, Women Don't Have a Penis, by Iron Balz

A Spot of Bother, by Mark Haddon

Having already read (and enjoyed) Mark Haddon’s first novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, I was excited to read his new book, A Spot of Bother. Sure, it's not technically new -- it's been out for awhile -- but it's newly in paperback, so let's not argue over semantics, okay?

I got a half ton of e-mails asking for Dr. Robin McGraw's liver cleansing drink. Here's the recipe for the liver cleanse:

2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
Dash of cayenne pepper
Juice from 1/2 lemon
Cup of hot water

Robin drinks this every night before she goes to bed. You can also learn about the mineral wrap that will help you lose inches here. Hope that helps!

Yet another soup has been declared a favorite by husband. Do you see why I cook for him all the time? I was out of ideas for dinner and he asked for a soup with sausage in it, but no chicken (why, I have no idea). After a quick search at the Food Network, I ran across Italian Sub Stoup and Garlic Toast Floaters.

The Zombie Survival Guide, by Max Brooks

I like books, right? And everyone knows how I just luurve zombies. So if you add the two together, I’ll like the result, right?

Right?

Emotionless Souls, by David S. Grant

Don't expect to like the people who fill the pages of David S. Grant's Emotionless Souls. They're sick, empty people made emptier by their attempts to make their lives full.

I'm sure you're wondering, what exactly do these emotionless souls do to add feeling to their lives? Sex, drugs, violence? Of course -- and lots of them, with a little sadism thrown in for good measure.

Fragile Things, by Neil Gaiman.

At heart, I'm a follower. Although I profess to be a true individual who chooses the road not taken and all that, such posturing is often a front. Well I know there is comfort in conformity.

Such were my thoughts when I purchased my first-ever Neil Gaiman book, Fragile Things.

For the record, I want to like Neil Gaiman. Everyone else seems to. Everywhere I turn, yet another person is singing Gaiman's praises. With nary a naysayer to be found, I [naively] assumed Gaiman was for me, too. I mean, shit -- Gaiman and Tori Amos (one of my favorite musicians) share an affinity for one another. That must count for something, I reasoned.

I need your help.

See, I love to read. I also like to shop. And I reallly like to shop for stuff to read.

Put them together and what do you get?

The Amazon Kindle.

I want a Kindle. I need a Kindle. First, it will help me read and shop. Lots. Only -- and this is nice -- I won't have to find storage space for all the books I'd buy in paper form. (I'm running out of bookshelf room, as I've already filled three large bookcases and have not room for another.) Even better still, the Kindle's sneaky: my husband would never know that I spent another [insert dollar amount here] on books. I'd be spending less anyway, not only because Kindle books are cheaper but also because some sites even offer free e-books.

The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs

My latest review is up at Pajiba, and you may click here to read it. This time I tackled The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs. Basically, the author follows every rule in the Bible for an entire year.

This week's issue of OK! magazine features Rachael Ray on it's cover. The issue goes on sale today and includes a story in which the "one-woman media conglomerate Rachael Ray sat down to chat about everything from her Christmas plans to what she enjoys eating at this festive time of year."

The short piece included on the mag's website is just an excerpt from the full story, but focuses on Rachael's thoughts on her waistline during the holidays:

Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography, by Andrew Morton

I remember being a wee lass and seeing commercials for L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics on tv. It was such a neat commercial – there was a volcano, and a loud, booming voice, and so it seemed to me like a really cool book. Then again, I was eight.

The Almost Moon, by Alice Sebold

Another review is up over at Pajiba; you may click here to read it. As always, I'll include my usual touches below.

But honestly, I'm still kinda intrigued by the cover art for this one. A chair in the air. Why why why why why. I'm stumped. THINK, dammit. Symbolism is your forte, right?

Atonement, by Ian McEwan

There are certain books that, after having finished them, one almost weeps for the experience. Reading Atonement, my first McEwan novel, was just such an event.

Enduring Love, by Ian McEwan

It’s funny how even the happiest times can be suddenly and forever ruined by the simplest of things. A poorly-planned remark when joking with a pal. A turned ankle while running the stairs. A glance down when driving. The most innocuous of acts can have life-long consequences.

The characters in Ian McEwan’s novels know this fact of life very well, as many of his characters suffer devastating effects from the most mundane of actions. Enduring Love is no different; Joe sits down to a lovely picnic with his wife moments away from a catastrophe that, unbeknownst to him, will change him forever.

If you are in the mood for an easy comfort food meal, I highly recommend Rachael Ray's Midweek Menu from 30-Minute Meals. It consists of Cheesy Risi e Bisi and Crispy Chicken Cutlets with Basil-Parsley Sauce.

Beautiful Children, by Charles Bock

My review on Bock's Beautiful Children is up at Pajiba, so click here to read it.

In a nutshell: A solid debut novel: not perfect, but better than you might think.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

Rape: A Love Story, by Joyce Carol Oates

You have to hand it to Joyce Carol Oates: homegirl knows how to pick an attention-grabbing title. In fact, as soon as I read the title, I immediately knew I wanted to read the book, without even reading anything else about it. Of course, it's Joyce Carol Oates. Enough said.

This novel reads more like a short story, and I finished it in a single afternoon. And while the storyline is fascinating, it’s her method of telling the story that really wowed me. The novel is broken up into small, bite-size chapters, some only as long as a paragraph. This succinctness allows the reader to feel the action as small punches to the gut, much like Teena Maguire must have felt when she was gang raped on the Fourth of July.

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, by Muriel Spark

On a good day, I believe in signs. I’d like to believe that a superior being guides our lives, and in so doing sends signs, omens, and portents to direct or forestall our behavior. On a bad day, I feel there is only chaos, and while I know some who manage to find comfort in such disorder, I am not one of them.

Happily enough, I never find more signs than when searching for my next book to read. Without a set course of action, I bebop from book to book, author to author, period to period with no special plan. Many times, I feel a distinct “call” to read a particular novel, and I know its time has come. With few exceptions, each book I’ve been “called” to read has been essential to understanding some facet of my life at that moment. And so it was with The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. The bookish fates worked their magic again.

Samedi the Deafness, by Jesse Ball

My first review has been published over at Pajiba, one of my favorite sites ever (hence my squee of joy).

The Invention of Morel, by Adolfo Bioy Casares

The Invention of Morel has been getting a lot of attention recently due to its appearance on Lost. I don’t watch Lost, so don’t expect any great revelations about how Morel explains the show. By the way, are they still on that damn island? I only watch quality television, like Big Brother 9. I like my tv with a side of brainlessness, thank you very much.

The Invention of Morel begins as our unnamed protagonist, a fugitive from the law, hides on an uninhabited island. One day, mysterious tourists suddenly appear, and our fugitive is frightened they have come searching for him. He needn’t have feared, however; it’s clear they are unaware of him.