I stopped off at a shop yesterday morning, on the drive back, and had a very surreal moment. My book was there on one of the shelves and just as I walked past, a woman came along, took it down from the shelf and after reading the back cover went off to buy it. I couldn't believe it. What are the chances of that happening? Not only of actually having a book up there in the first place, but actually standing there as someone takes it down and goes off to buy it. For a moment I was stunned. I immediately picked up another book and pretended to be reading, but when she turned out of sight I actually walked off after her. It was Monday morning and there was hardly anyone about and I found myself wanting to whisper 'thank you for buying my book,' or just to tell her that it was my book she had in her hands, wanting to say something, anything... Because what are the chances of seeing that again. Of course I didn't. But it was a very strange moment.

Just for the record, let me say that I was wrong...writing books is not as easy as I thought. Obvioulsy I didn't think it would be a walk in the park, but after all that time in the car, living how I was living — on the outside of everything, depressed, isolated, without focus or purpose, no job or project to throw myself into — I thought everything would be easy after that, that nothing could phase me and nothing could beat me — which hopefully is true, now I have fought my way back - and I thought that since I love writing, that that would be a joy to do for the next six months.

And occassionally it was. The times when I forgot that I was writing about me and just sank into it, but writing your own story is hard. And writing books generally takes everything you've got. Not nice...Feel wrecked. But at least it's over now. Now I can start rebuilding...

I haven't written here for a while. I've been trying to let things settle and to think forwards, rather than backwards all the time. Obviously I had to do that while I was writing the book, think backwards — wade through all that past, all that heavy sludge of childhood emotion. I felt like a spring recoiling on itself. But once the book was finished it was time to try to go forward again. It's what we all have to do, but that's exactly what I hadn't been doing for so long. I'd gotten stuck. So these past few weeks I've tried to think forwards, and put all the past behind me. But the paperback is out tomorrow, so for a while I can see that will be difficult to do.

It is a month to the day since I last updated this blog — and since I have had several emails asking me why, and if I am okay — I just thought I'd sign in, to let everyone know that things are fine. Well...ish. Because the writing is tough going — as I should have known it would be — but hopefully I am tougher; and this won't last forever.

I am looking forward to getting fit afterwards, and to doing some serious hill walking. Though right now I feel like bundling myself up and rolling down a few, the way I did once as a little girl, and a few times since, pushing myself from the top, and just rolling rolling rolling all the way down, until I was like a wristwatch, shaken back into life.

And talking of wristwatches...must go — will report back soon.

December probably isn't the time for it, but I'm looking around for another job at the moment. This job was only ever meant to be a stepping stone - a way back into things — temporary cover that I knew would come to an end, but I feel quite anxious now that it is - anxious about what the next step will be. Not sure which way to turn again. Not sure I'm tough-headed or tough-hearted enough to go back to a career in law full-time, even if that was possible, but not sure what else I can do. It's hard knowing what you're cut out for.

I am sitting here trying to catch up with emails. Lots of them in the last few days are from readers in Asia.. I had no idea my story would end up in an article over there and be read by a 16-year old student in Singapore or a man in Pakistan...how bizarre is that! But over the last few days emails have been coming in, not just from people here but from people who have read the article or read my book all those thousands of miles away telling me how, although they might have very different lives, they have been able to relate to my story in some way.

I have spent the last hour dipping in and out of some of their blogs, reading about their lives and cultures, being reminded that people are essentially the same wherever they come from, the same fears the same dreams.

From the emails we are receiving, there is no point in the proposed contract more controversial than the provision on ad-supported streaming. The two emails below were originally submitted to us unsolicited, but we have posted them together because they form such a useful point/counterpoint argument on this issue. See you in the comments! -JA

ONLINE STREAMING TERMS: PROStatement by Christopher

The results are in from the contest I was entered in over at Surviving Grady last week about the one person you'd want to watch a game at Fenway Park with.

And unfortunately, I did not win.

The top two were the "Grandma" and "Kevin Millar" entries, and they each won a copy of the new six-DVD set, "The Essential Games of Fenway Park." My congratulations to both of them, as they were both excellent entries. My thanks to Red and Denton especially over at Surviving Grady, for selecting my entry for the finals.

I don't where I finished or how many votes I got, but I dropped the boys at the site an email, as I'd like to know how I did. If anything, just to stroke my ever-growing ego!! (I'll pass along any more info if they can pass it on to me.)

Seriously, I received many beautiful emails from my friends from all over the country and I am really touched that many of you took the time to vote for my entry.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I feel like I have been running non-stop lately. I have already put in two extra hours at work this week trying to get a lot of our major projects done before the holidays. Husband and I finally picked our Doula and yesterday I chose a pediatrician for baby. Baby is as active as ever, bouncing around from one end of the womb to the next MC Hammer style. I am almost done Christmas shopping at last! I need to just pick up a few more things and will at last be done. I am taking a week off in between the holidays to chill out at the house with my family. My folks are coming over this year for Christmas, which is a great stress relief for me.

Baby Update: 25 weeks 5 days

I'm having a proper Christmas this year. Well, a bit different to last year's anyway, which I spent alone in the car, without sending or receiving a single present or card...trying to blank it all out. During the summer, when I could finally face it, I got back in touch with a few people, so at least this year I had a few presents to buy and people to send cards to. And that is what has made all the difference! Yes, I was in a bit better position to buy presents this year, and I am not forgetting how different it was without that - without being able to buy a second cup of tea in the day to warm myself up, let alone presents! But it is the having the people there to share it with that has made my Christmas this year...presents or no presents. And I hope it always will - that I never forget.

Stars: ****

I received this book from Multnomah Books and I wanted to review it for Mother’s Day but I didn’t get to finish it in time.
Rattled is a Christian Parenting book for soon-to-be-moms and new-moms. I’m not Christian but I can’t say no to a parenting book so I wanted to take a look at this. Have survived two baby’s first years I feel I am qualified to determine if this book would be helpful to a new mom. Certainly, as a mom of 4, Trish Berg is qualified to write a book about parenting.

A quick reminder that the Councilmembers are meeting in committee tomorrow -- send your emails today to tell them you support the WGA, and want the conglomerates to come back to the table and negotiate in good faith.

Go to the post for cut and paste emails and addresses to send them: http://unitedhollywood.blogspot.com/2007/12/call-to-action-email-los-angeles-city.html

And come with us to the meeting tomorrow morning --
7:30 am at Los Angeles City Hall Main Chambers (3rd Floor).
200 N. Spring Street Los Angeles, CA 90012.

Wear your strike t-shirts or red shirts -- come help us pack the room!

I'm sure many of you out there have a similar problem that I have. You get those stupid scam emails from "Africa" that are entitled "Beloved Friend," "Yours in Christ," and "Urgent Attention" are from "people" named John Alison or Daniel Vincent, or some woman called "Sister." (I doubt she's really a nun.) They give you some kind of sob story about how their father or husband was murdered by some repressive regime and they have money stored away in some bank and if you help them by sending them some of your own hard-earned cash you can make far more with them.

Do people out there REALLY fall for this crap?

I woke up this morning with the cold howling around inside my bones. But looking out of the window everything was all white and beautiful and brilliant, the sun like pearl behind white sky, and everything glittered with frost. It looked quite magical. I love mornings like this. Give me this over rain any day. I went to a pantomine the night before last, and the fairy godmother in it was fantastic, really throwing herself into the part, tip-toeing around the cast waving her wand and whispering good into everyones ears. That's what it felt like this morning, waking up to all this whiteness, as if someone had tiptoed through the night - over rooftops and hills, through the trees, up and down streets and alleyways and parks, waving a magic wand, turning the land this clean, silvery-white. I felt happy just laying there thinking it. I turned up the on the music on the CD alarm — the Late String Quartets again!

Weeks and weeks since I've written in here. I haven't known what to write. I kept waiting for something more interesting to happen, but since I've written the book nothing has really, not really, nothing particularly bloggable anyway. I've spent the time since slowly putting my life back into order, sorting things out, settling back into things, relishing the ordinariness of it all again. I feel stronger now than I have ever done, can't imagine what could phase me after how I lived this time last year, but the feelings I have about the book are still very complicated, conflicted feelings and I suppose that was another reason to avoid writing in here too soon — to avoid even thinking about any of it for a while once it was written. It is done now, will have to speak for itself.

with my husband. Marriages just can't sustain things like that. At least mine apparently can't. We both worked from home today to save a bit on gas... the theory being that since we usually carpool, with only one of us working from home, we werent' really saving anything. Makes sense.. So it all started out lovely, and actually it was all lovely until about an hour ago, when we had our daily spat. Do all couples fight this much? There is a lady at work who fights with her husband constantly and they legitimitely just can't seem to stand each other. I want to yell over the cubicle wall "get a divorce, lady! You'll be happier!" We don't have horrible fights, but I do feel like lately we fight a lot. Oh well... the nice thing about life is that it has a way of working itself out. Either it will get better, or it will get worse. Not much point dwelling on it.

Someone e-mailed yesterday saying they'd just randomly come across my blog, and asked me whether it was true, whether I did actually live in my car for all that time. I can't believe someone is still asking that — I don't know whether to scream or cry.

You’ve just reached the end of a book . . . what do you do now? Savor and muse over the book? Dive right into the next one? Go take the dog for a walk, the kids to the park, before even thinking about the next book you’re going to read? What?

As with most reading bloggers, I think, we all feel so elated after finishing it. Then a bit sad, if it was a really good book. I close the book and savour the book in my mind. Nowadays, I get into writing a review right away as instant recall works best for me. Next is, looking for another book to read. I read two-three books per week. So I do not keep much gaps between the books I read. I try to keep the genres different between reading. However, as most readers do, I too am reading at least three different books at any given point of time. So the end of a book does not affect me that much. And we must not forget all those reading challenges! So where is the time to give a gap?

And being single with no kids and neither pets helps me read as much as I want at any time!!

Today was surreal. I found myself in Waterstones looking for a book. Not mine…what I wanted was some comfort-reading to get me through the next few days so that I didn't have to think of mine for a while, — something like the one I've just finished, The Summer Book by Tove Jannson, something timeless and ageless, some other world I could just sink into for a while.

I came into London today to talk on a local radio show about my book. It was a very strange thing to do. Not only sitting in a dark booth at BBC studios infront of a console with such a bewildering array of buttons and dials that it looked like we were about to take off, but just the talking about the book at all. Writing it was bad enough. It is definitely not a comfortable thing to publicise. I have been psyching myself up for it for weeks, though I was very glad to get it over and done with today, particulary given the cold I have. But the presenter's reaction was so lovely, and in a way unexpected. I assumed like most people his interest would be in the homelessness bit and how I wrote the blog. He did talk about the shame and secrecy of homelessness, and how it had been for me living in the car for those nine months, but he focussed mostly on the earlier part of the book — on some of the childhood stuff.

Review first published at Front Street Reviews.

Stars: ****

Katie McCabe is a 14 year old girl who wants to be known for who she is and not by the McCabe family name. Katie lives with her dad, the sheriff of their town. Katie is a bit of a rebel. She is always getting into trouble with her friend Timmy but after they accidently set fire to a shed, Katie’s life just keeps going downhill.

At the beginning of the book is a Cast of Characters. This is unsual in a novel but if done right, can be helpful when a book has more than a few main characters. My only qualm with Gardner-Griffie’s Cast of Characters is that a little too much information is revealed. It doesn’t ruin the ending of the book, just tells a little about what’s going to happen.

Lisa Samson
325 pages
Library Book

From Barnes & Noble -"Heather Curridge has it all, and she loves her stuff. But every year she thinks there must be more to life--she must be made for more than this.
Heather is coming unhinged, and people are starting to notice. What's wrong with a woman who has everything, and yet still feels miserable inside?
Yet when Heather wrecks her Suburban and spends the summer with two Quaker spinsters and a crusty nun in a downtown homeless shelter, she suddenly finds herself at a crossroads.

Okay, one more challenge! My eye has been caught by the reinvigorated Chunkster Challenge, being hosted this year by So many books, so little time. Even though I didn't come close to meeting my goals with this one last year, it was fun. And I think it would make a lovely counterpoint to the Short Story Challenge -- a few stories, a reaaallllly long novel. Balance. So I'm going to sign up again, and fortunately, cross-challenge books are permitted. Yay, War & Peace!

Thank you for your overwhelming support in our email campaign earlier this week – councilmembers collectively received thousands of emails, and our work had a very real impact.

Now they know that people are engaged and paying attention, and we need to let them know our involvement is serious and ongoing. Although the special motion does not compel the AMPTP to come to the table, it becomes part of a “paper trail” that shows the AMPTP’s behavior, which will matter as we go up the political food chain (Congressional hearings, anyone?)

We're making a difference, and we need your help to keep it going.

mila mila
Originally uploaded by redbarrenI'm back months later on blackberry (a curve, sorry couldnt wait for the Bold 9000 nor the non keyboard of the 3G iphone) and I'm bloody happy. Being 2 hours from everything the joke had gone just a bit too far. Im a post modernist with the best of them, and frankly if u dont DM twitter me, comment on a blog or flickr, or i dont subscribe to your blog/rss/twits/friendfeed I'm not going to waste 15 minutes a day listening to mindless voicemails, thats so 1996. Can Optus pls bring out a Spinvox like voice to text conversion service, so I can read my voicemails as emails, they used to have those paging services a decade ago, whatever happened...

I've just seen my first episode of the new show Pushing Daisies. My husband was insisting I watch it, and now I understand why. It's a quirky show about a young man (owner of the best named fictional shop I've seen in a while - a bakery/cafe called "The Pie Hole") who can touch the dead and bring them back to life for one minute, when he must touch them again to return them to their dead state. When he brings his childhood sweetheart back to life he wants her to remain alive -- so can not touch her again. With all the sexual tension going this is difficult for them both. This dead or alive mixup has consequences, which in turn drive the show. It's very stylized and amusing - over at Tripping toward Lucidity, Andi has described it as "Tim Burton if he were rolled in Sweet Tart dust" which is the perfect description, besides just cracking me up!

Driving home, I noticed that wonderful thing... that glorious sign of summer...that harbinger of all things sweet and juicy was out... the "Strawberries U-Pick" sign!! Painted in red on a white background in stenciled letters and an arrow pointing toward the river. Yay! Seems a little early and I was hoping they woudl be picking while my sister is here, but whatever. We'll probably get out there this Saturday adn sometime next week because I WON'T BE WORKING... bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha. Anyhoo, I also picked the first lettuce from the garden tonight to have on a delicious black bean burger wrap with avocado and cheese. yum.

Stars: ****1/2
I received a copy of this book for review. I also read it for the Pub in '08 challenge.

Summary: In “My Soul to Keep,” Dylan Foster is once again caught in a bizarre and twisted chain of events. A parent’s worst nightmare comes true and a birthday party that should be filled with joy is turned awry when a little boy close to Dylan’s heart is snatched from a local park. With little evidence to point the way, local law enforcement is led through a chain of mystifying events that seem to go no where. With the help of an intuitive six-year-old girl who is eerily connected to the missing boy, Dylan follows a path of tantalizing clues to the truth. With the sinister presence of Peter Terry never far behind, Dylan is led to a place she never expected – or wanted – to go.