day than a summer day today. It's cold and dreary, overcast and intermittently rainy. We were out late last night "gallactic bowling" with some friends. It was sort of fun, but I drank too much beer, ate too much bowling alley food, and well, I can't deny it... bowling kicked my ass. I started off strong with a spare, then as I got tireder and tireder (I know that's not a word) I got worse and worse and got many many gutter balls. But oh well, better than sitting home on my birthday. : )

my head hurts from way too much exertion. I've almost memorized the whole Jessica's theme song. It's a tough one and I'm about 3 measures away. I still have to look at the music sometimes to peak, but I'm very very close. It feels good becuase it's been a real challenge and I'm almost there! I'm not even going to worry about the Enya song for now because that's easy by comparison and if I have to I could even drop that one. But I don't think I'll have to. I've got a long weekend and another 2 weeks after that so I think I'm golden.

My sister helped me come up with a great idea for a book. It needs a little fleshing out but it has the potential to be really funny. And hey, if I'm only spending a month on it, I can take the risk. No pressure, right? The plan is to start June 1 and obviously be done by June 30 with the first draft. I see it as something sort of Carl Hiaasen-ish. Funny, irreverent, a bit kitchy, but with a little bit of a message (yet to be determined).

bleak. I can't really think of any other time in my lifetime when the economy looked so bad and the future looked so scary. I don't know if it's because I used to live in a wealthy area and didn't drive far to work, and just didn't notice things... or it really is that bad. When I was visiting VA a few weeks ago, I was going on and on about conspiracy theories and how the middle class will be wiped out and my sister said to me "what do you care? you live a good life. enjoy it." All the news coverage lately just ... I don't know... it makes me think of a Hollywood movie of a futuristic world well it all effing sucks! I don't anticipate not being able to afford food. I have a decent paying job and with carpooling, etc. we'll get by, even with the price of gas these days...but this is the first time that economic factors like that really have changed my life. My driving habits have changed (65 mph baby!), I'm carpooling, I asked my boss about telecommuting. Our expendable income has gone down...I dunno.

That will be my topic today. Ok, I'm sure I've spouted off my radical leftist, environmental views before. Yes, I was on the forefront of environmentalism with my much beloved Hyundai Accent that I bought in 1996 and drove till I totalled her 3 years ago. Ok, so maybe that had more to do with the fact that the car cost $10K and I only made $17K, but still... I've actually always liked little cars. They're zippy and easy to paralel park (unless they don't have power steering, like my hyundai), and they're just gosh darn cute. So I've always been one of those anti-SUV people. I think they're pointless and for fat, lazy people who can't fit their fat asses into a normal size car. Plus the whole status thing... and the whole intimidation thing. Basically they represent everything I don't like about people.

And yet, there are those SUV lovers, (yes I"m talking to you people in TEXAS) who still refuse to let go of their gas guzzlers. I mean, if it was a sentimental thing...like if you had a 66 Corvair Monza that guzzled gas but looked really cool and said something about your personality..fine. But an SUV? Here are the irrational "reasons" people need SUVs:

--I have kids. Big deal! Kids are smaller than adults. They should take up LESS room.
--My kids play sports. Uh huh..I'm sure that soccer ball can't fit in the trunk of an Accord.

Driving home, I noticed that wonderful thing... that glorious sign of summer...that harbinger of all things sweet and juicy was out... the "Strawberries U-Pick" sign!! Painted in red on a white background in stenciled letters and an arrow pointing toward the river. Yay! Seems a little early and I was hoping they woudl be picking while my sister is here, but whatever. We'll probably get out there this Saturday adn sometime next week because I WON'T BE WORKING... bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha. Anyhoo, I also picked the first lettuce from the garden tonight to have on a delicious black bean burger wrap with avocado and cheese. yum.

to be fat. For once, I was hell bent on getting to the gym and working up a good sweat. Normally I'll look for pretty much any excuse not to go to the gym. J didn't want to go, which would have been a great out normally, but I persisted. So we pull up and there's a sign on the door saying the power was out due to thunderstorms. doh. But we did go for a walk/jog when we got home. The jog was more to get home before the thunderstorm, but hey, whatever works. I'm trying to tackle exercise as my next step to absolute human virtuousness and perfection (I'm tellin' ya, I'm gonna run out of things soon, I'm so close!). On my 101 list, I have "work out 3 times a week for a month" so that's the goal I'm working on, though I'd ideally like to be more active every single day.

Today, though, my main reason for wanting a vigorous workout was to burn off caffeine. I'm pretty wired. On a usual day I have as many 20 oz. diet cokes from the vending machine as I can afford on that particular day (using only $1 bills and coins) and now I've added an afternoon trip to dunkin donuts with my friend D for an iced coffe. I have to say, I feel pretty fabulous, so I'm starting to think that coffee is the answer. aaahhh-ahhh. I can't blink though. bing!

Yes, tonight I discovered the wonders of non-alcoholic beer! Perhaps at one time in my life I scoffed at such things and wondered what the f-ing point was, but that's what getting older and wiser is all about I suppose. We went to a local Mexican restaurant/Irish bar (I know!) and I got tacos and an O'douls, and I have to say - it was lovely. aaah.... it was like having an old friend back. The comfort of a green glass bottle and a glass of amber beauty with a nice head on it. yum! Tasted just like bud or miller light, and with a 0.5% alcohol, I could pretend that I was getting a weeeeeeee bit of a buzz. Good stuff. Of course beer was never my drink of choice, so I've been thinking about looking for some non-alcoholic wine. I guess they would call that grape juice (unrefridgerated). : )

So what does that say about me... I need the illusion of having a drink in front of me more than the drink itself, which is true. At home, when I really feel like I need a drink, I just put ice cubes in my martini glass (the sound of home...clink clink clink in a cocktail glasss) and put some crangrape in their and just pretend there's vodka in it. I mean, I like getting drunk too, but more than anything, it's just a comfort to have something that I think will make me feel better. And it seems to work pretty well.

The New York Post conducted a Question and Answer session with Rachael Ray to discuss what's going on for Rach these days. The first couple questions kinda crack me up, since they are so negative. Maybe the interviewer had a case of the Mondays or something?

Here are a few of the most interesting questions and answers, but you should go check out the full article.

How do you think you've managed to reach this level of success with no formal chef training?

I found a way to work in the phase "does a bear shit in the woods?" to my book. sweetness! Ok, so I've downgraded my goals from 11 pages a day to 1 a day. So maybe I won't write a book in a month... but hey, progress is goddamn progress. Ok, and I didn't quite stick to one glass of wine. damn! I need to stop buying shiraz...too damn tasty! I'll start buying white zinfandel or something. : I~~ Or alternatively I could just drink vinegar. Or rubbing alcohol. Perhaps vanilla extract...

I am still tired but I did manage to get a little more sleep last night. I ended up leaving work at the usual time instead of going home early as I had planned. I will try to leave early tomorrow though so that I can get some stuff done. I think I might pick up my magazines on the way home tomorrow. I am usually too tired by the time I come home on regular days. Since we will be sans server tomorrow I have a lot I need to get done today, including transferring things off of the network and onto my jump drive so that I can actually work on something tomorrow.

Detroit: Things that I love to eat and do while in the Metro Detroit Area:

It is pretty gloomy outside this morning. We have had a lot of thunderstorms since 5am. Noah slept really well last night only getting up at 12:00, 2:30 and 6:00. I on the other hand was used to our every 2 hour schedule and was awake every two hours! We measured him the other day and he is 24 inches. We noticed that his feet hung over the arm rest of the rocker. It is crazy how fast babies grow. They don't stay little bits for long.

Saturday I got my hair cut short. It feels soooo much better. Every time I would go to burp Noah we would both have to contend with my hair. Now that isn't a problem. Sunday was my first mother's day and I had a great day. Noah's dad picked out a beautiful ring for me and made breakfast in bed for me.

Tomorrow I am going to church to meet with my pastor about the Deaf ministries task force she wants me to head up. It will be Noah and I's first casual non doctors office visit outing together. I think we might brave grocery shopping together on Friday with Dan. We are desperately low on food. I am trying to eat healthy but we still have a bunch of junk food still in the house.

"...PUT ON A HAPPY FACE"

Had sort of a crappy day at work. It wasn't so bad, but I got that feeling a few times...you know that high blood pressure feeling where you want to rip somebody's head off? Ever get that? But I took a deep breath, resorted to short sentences and turning my head, and then just blocked people out. I don't even have pms, which leads me to believe that people are just irritating. But what can you do? I'm in a bit of a spot because I've told people over and over again how NOT to irritate me but they don't seem to be paying attention, so that's it. I just can't let it bother me. Part of what bothers me is that I think maybe I'm not that good at my job. I know I'm good at parts of it, but I'm not great at everything (who is, right?) so that bothers me too. But all I can do is to do the best I can do and let the rest roll off my back.

I'm feelin' it. Along with some other negative emotions. I so want to be the person in the crowd who is never bothered by anything. You know the one... you forget their birthday and they don't seem to notice. A month later you realize it and they shrug and say "no worries" and they really don't look worried about. If I could buy that, along with a helping of self control, I'd pay big bucks for it. There's a market for it! I have at least downgraded from all out angry outbursts to silent seething disgust, which I do think is progress. On an upnote, I have a new crush and he can do no wrong becuase he's dreamy. : ) AND he talked to me today. He said "oh, looks like rain," to which I replied "grunt" and shuffled off for a walk in the impending rain.

Same old stuff going on, so not much point detailing all over again. Time for ONE (single) glass of wine and then down to bidness. Though a nap would really be ideal. Oh! Had a horrible nightmare last night:

There are so many beneficial reasons to buy in bulk, so this simple green practice is easy and rewarding to implement. Living an hour away from the nearest grocery store, buying our food and personal products in bulk is a necessity of mountain life. The survivalist in me does not feel comfortable unless my pantry is stocked with staple goods bought in bulk. Not only does buying in bulk make life more convenient by saving trips to the grocery store, it saves money and environmental resources as well. Bulk good prices are cheaper than individually packaged goods, and fewer trips to the store means less fossil fuel burned and more leisure time for you! The following five ideas will help you make the most of buying in bulk.

Don’t limit bulk purchases to food items only!

Buying shampoo, laundry soap, dish soap, toilet paper, etc. is also beneficial to the environment and your wallet. Even if an item is not available in bulk at your local co-op or health food store, buying the largest size possible will give you similar savings financially and environmentally.

*Important news bulletin*
Hillary wears pant suits! And sometimes they are yellow! Don't you know that yellow pant suits can seriously impede the successful running of a country! Oh, and she's a bitch too, with a shrill voice. (and she doesnt' have a penis). Oh, and she's not super model attractive either. And kind of old and wrinkly. Just thought you should know.

Anyhoo, so I got a few things crossed off my garden list. 5 things to be precise. Here are some pictures.

There we go... basically I got all the clover out of this area, which was intermingled with all the periwinkle and then I mulched the hell out of it. I have no doubt the clover will come back, but what can I do? mulch, mulch, and mulch some more. There's my non-flowering flowering dogwood. Had it 3 years... 4 years? and the damn thing has never bloomed. Oh well. Would like to buy a buckeye.

Although I'm exhausted from a busy day of sports. I'm going to give you some quick thoughts on what I saw today before I hit the sack.

-Upsets galore in Tampa Bay kept me entertained all day. I love march madness!
-The biggest surprise to me was how Sienna beat Vanderbilt. I did not see that coming, especially in the way that it happened.
-I was so impressed with Tyrone Brazelton's intelligent play under pressure. Not only did he turn in a great game with 33 points, but I was most impressed by how he got the ball up the floor quickly and made the smart pass back to the inbound man for the buzzerbeater. I felt bad for Drake. They had a dream season this year. But after seeing that I didn't even mind my bracket being busted!
-Sir Alexander Ovechkin is a really good player. It is still amazing to me how a team can be so bad that they have a player score 60 goals in one year and still be fighting for the 8th and final playoff spot in the NHL.
- I love the WKU Hilltopper mascot (The Red dot)

day today. I wrote one ad, which I'm sure my boss will rewrite, then spent about an hour trying to write website copy with absolutely nothing to go on, then another hour being mad at the situation. Then I gave up and did some online window shopping and blog reading and walked to the bathroom every hour even if I didn't have to go. It could quite possible have been "the longest day in history."

Age of Conversation is back with another book underway">, "100 voices, one conversation". And In the true spirit of collaboration, you're invited to decide the book's topic together and vote on the topic collectively.

Topic choices are:

Marketing Manifesto
Why Don't People Get It?

on a Sunday afternoon. umm umm. Aged Cheddar, made in Maine. But I've been working hard so I deserve it. I feel like I'm finally hitting my summer stride.... being outside constantly, getting sun burned, covered in dirt all day, loving every minute of it. ahhh summer.

Yesterday was our kayaking course. I thought it was about advanced strokes but it was mostly about navigation. I learned some things (like, oh, how to use a compass). And got some damn good exercise paddling across casco bay. The instructors were good. One reminded us of our friend F. The other was cute and very earnest. Normally I dont' like really like that quality, but he was making it work for him. They have a rule that when you hear thunder you have to head back or hunker down. We heard thunder around 2;30 or so and headed back. Didn't get to do advanced rescue techniques (aka flipping your boat over and having someone rescue you) darn!! was SO looking forward to that. : ) And we learned some thigns about towing. I was the only woman in the class. The water was rough in some spots and the waves were pretty big. I didn't feel too bad about it though since the instructors were there. If it was just me & J, I would have been crying.

Every once in awhile, some suits in a big fancy office building actually hit on something us regular folks could really use. I think they might have done that with a recent deal between Reader's Digest, which publishes Rachael Ray's magazine, and grocery stores.

According to Mediaweek, the idea is to have kiosks in grocery stores where customers can access recipes and cooking tips from magazines Every Day with Rachael Ray and Taste of Home, and Allrecipes.com. The kiosks, made by Shop to Cook, will be in the meat and produce sections of "more than 200 supermarket chains including Brookshires and Schnucks," and "the machines allow shoppers to look up and print recipes and coupons."

Here's what one of the suits had to say about it:

Call me a nerd, but I've wanted to do a labyrinth walk for years. I have no idea why.. it's just one of those things (like the nautilus) that I see and I like and then I become semi-obsessed with. I have dreams of building my own labyrinth in my side yard out of rocks and flowers. But tonight, I actually walked one! There's a church in Portland, probably 2-3 miles from where I work that has a labyrinth on a canvas and they open it up to the public once a month or so. Now, I'm not religious at all and I've probably stepped foot in a church a total of 10 times in my life (half of them at a daycare center when I was a nanny, once I went with a boyfriend on Christmas, a few times I went wtih friends when I was kid, and once to a wedding in a catholic church). Oh, and once I blew a tire on my car when I veered trying to avoid a squirrel and hit the curb... wanted to see if they had a phone but the door was locked - typical!

There were boiling hot days like these when I first slept out in the car. Not quite as hot, and I was down on the coast then, in and around Brighton, so warm, salty breezes coming in off the sea cooled things down a bit. But sometimes, when it had been there collecting heat all day, the car's metal could burn bare skin and the interior was full of exhausting, nauseating, oven-hot heat, unbearable, the kind you have to physically force yourself to get in to: my hair would frizz, my body stick to the seats, grimy sweat from walking about all day would slide in greasy streams and collect in hot pools underneath me, and the inside of my head throbbed with constant headaches from breathing the hot, dry air full of car fumes.

Peaceful Butterfly
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

My big strong girl
Originally uploaded by m.Lee Thanks blee. It happened, I just got back from asking our downstairs neighbor to turn their music down. They are having a karaoke new years party and it was loud. It isn't just because she is sleeping but I don't want loud music in general. I well on my way to becoming an old far. When the ball drops I hope to be asleep. I have no interest in celebrating or drinking. The last time I had a glass of wine I got a headache and champagne always went to my head.

tonight is what blogs were invented for. narcissitic, self absorbed, pathetic rambling. UGH! My birhtday is tomorrow but I can't say for sure that's why i'm feeling like this. God I wished I would be over this crap by the time I was fucking 34. ugh. I hate myself, I hate everyone else, and I don't even have pms. I'm a drunk. I'm fat. I'm old. I'm pathetic. I have no self esteem. I want to die. Ok, not really. It's not that bad. Feeling very very hormonal.

menopause? Little early...

bleak. And I'm not just talking about the weather, though that applies too. Dreary! So what's wrong?

Well, first, those creepy crawly, bitey, nearly invisible fiends are back..the bird mites! J has been talking about them for a few days and I thought it was just psychological. I even did that little finger thing around the head that means "koo koo" to him a few times. But he finally had me check his back, and sure enough, there was what looked like a speck of dust sitting there. DOH! I'm not even sure the birds have left the nest yet... ?? Anyway, I'm pretty sure the cats brought them in with them from the porch, so at 10 pm last night I bathed the cats, had my 3rd shower of teh day while J took off all the bed stuff to wash and vaccuumed. Then I locked the cats out, but I still woke up with bites. I've been itching for a few nights, but with sunburn and skeeter bites, etc, etc. I pretty much itch all the time.

Oh well... we will vanquish again. Second, unbeknownst to me, J did a radon test down in the basement and surprise! we have high levels. Ok, that was sarcasm. Given the fact that radon comes from granite and we dynamited out a ledge of granite to build our house...not too shocking. But I still didn't want to know! Now what? Ugh.

Come back tomorrow for some of Rachael Ray's recipes for Thanksgiving leftovers! In the meantime, check out this 15-minute meal that might be good to make Wednesday night, in anticipation of being in the kitchen all day Thursday.

Growing up, I was one of those people who thought Paul Newman just made salad dressing. He wasn't the strangely charming, banjo-strumming loner of Cool Hand Luke; he was the avuncular gentleman with the jaunty hat donating the proceeds from Newman's Own Italian Dressing to charity. Later in my youth he became a purveyor of popcorn, quality lemonade, and imitation Oreo's that make Hydrox their bitch.

Some years later, college probably, I finally saw him in a movie. He was Butch Cassidy and he was grinning and shooting at folks at not selling pasta sauce. It was disturbing.

Now, my parents find all this strange and vaguely hilarious. After all, Paul Newman was Captain Kick Ass for quite some time. It'd be like someone knowing Marlon Brando only because of his private island or by scare-tactic ads warning of morbid obesity. It'd be like knowing Tom Cruise for his pious Scientology.