Sorry there's no Worst of the Night post today. Let's just say that the Lakers making it back to the NBA Finals was the worst thing that happened last night -- for me, anyway -- and leave it at that.

Instead, here's some semi-anguished man love between Sasha Douchavic and Vladimir Radmanowhatever. Looks like Sasha isn't too happy about being the catcher. Memo to Sasha: Always establish a safe word. Thanks to everybody who sent this one in; you know who you are, you sexy bitches.

Chub-tastic extra: Here's Sasha experiencing some wingardium leviosa in his man region over a little old-school man love between Magic Johnson and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I guess man-on-man affection is storied a Laker tradition. It's enough to give me Forum Blue and Gold balls.

The only way to ease the bitter taste of that Kobe post is to wash my mouth out with a little man love. (And I realize how tragically bad that sounds. Gak.) Today's image is from Basketbawful reader Wesley, who said: "Nothing like some man love in the middle of a legendary winning streak." Note that Scola is eating a plate of fruit, which is strangely appropriate.

Basketbawful reader ari responded to today's Spurs-Lakers love post with the following comment: "You missed one crucial man love incident, but I couldn't find a picture for you. Duncan was close to getting a technical for arguing, and Pop came over and grabbed him by the front of his shorts, right on his junk, and pulled him away. If you could find this picture...oh man. Or maybe somebody recorded the game and could get a still shot? I think it happened in the 2nd quarter."

I knew exactly what ari was talking about, and I'd been looking for a picture -- with no luck -- all day. Then reader Trev stepped up to the plate and got me the money shot. Note that Timmy looks totally mesmerized. Could grabbing his junk be the secret to stopping him? Only Popovich knows for sure...

[Hat tip to m. Alana of Billie Basquetbaäl. She also provided Sasha's word ballon.]

Note: This letter is a response to Ray Allen's love letter to his long lost jump shot, as dictated to Basketbawful reader Justin.

Dear Ray,

I'm sorry I have to break it to you this way, but really, I think it's best to be honest after all we've been through.

I'm leaving you.

Actually, I left you. For Jason Kapono. Before you say anything, yeah, I know. He'll never be the player you were, he'll never be able to carry a team, he'll never really be able to actually dribble, but man! Have you seen his hair? The moment I did, I was infatuated. Every morning I'd wake up with you, ol' balding Ray-Ray, a little past his prime and I'd fantasize, Ray, I really would. I know I should have said something before I left but I didn't want to hurt you. I hope we can remain the best of friends. I'll invite you to the wedding.

Sincerely,

Kapono's Jump Shot

[Hat tip to Basketbawful reader Anne.]

There was a whole lotta man lovin' going on in last night's Spurs-Lakers game. Package grabbing? Check. Ass grabbing? Check. Suggestive lip smacking? Check, check and check. (I apologize if I missed a submission or forgot to credit someone. If that's the case, email me or leave a comment and I'll get it fixed up quicker than a Tony Parker flop.)

First, eljpeman (via the Yahoo! Sports NBA page) showed me "How the West is Won." (Apparently, winning the West has something to do with Kobe's genitals.)

Then emma noticed that Timmy seems to have a fixation on Pau's "fertile Spanish valley." And Pau looks...surprised...to say the least.

Riddle me this, Batman: If the Celtics are secure enough in their masculinity to get all jiggy with LeBron's man region, why did Rajon Rondo look so awkward during this fist-on-ass butt slap of Paul Pierce? Hard to say. Maybe he's thinking: "Those aren't pillows..."

Also, looks like Eddie House wants a piece of that action.

Thanks to Sarah for keeping her heart open and her eyes on the lookout for man love. You are helping me make the world a better place.

Another super-deluxe man love special from m. Alana of Billie Basquetbaäl. Praise her name.

man region (man re'-juhn) noun. The male genital area, consisting of a penis, scrotum, and (in most cases) two testicles.

Usage example: Nothing hurts quite like getting hit in the man region.

Word History: Beefy McManstick. Fandangled Mandangler. Longrod Von Hugenstein. Rodzilla. The Schlongmaster 2000. Zamboni Baloney. So many ways to refer to a man's Love Truncheon, so few of which can be used on national television. Broadcasters usually just say something insufferably lame like "he had the wind knocked out of him" or "he's shaken up." But now, thanks to the legendary Reggie Miller, we have a real option.

Pucker up, Ray! Your jump shot may be cheating on you with Jason Kapono, but Lindsey Hunter has something special for you: It's called the anatomical juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in a state of contraction. Which is just Einstein speak for kissy-face.

Mucho thankias to Karl for sending in this mantastic photo.

[Hat tip to m. Alana of Billie Basquetbaäl. She sent me a lot of pictures, so get used to seeing her name.]

The Basketbawful spies are everywhere. Literally. Case in point: The September issue of HOOP magazine, the NBA's official bi-monthly publication, contains a very special Easter egg. A seven-foot, two-inch, incredibly funny-looking Easter egg. Check out the S in HITS:

Okay, now take a closer look:

Yep. That's our boy. Here's a mug shot for comparison purposes:

Perverts of the world rejoice! A UK-based grad student named Joe Malia has invented a device that will allow you to post to your sports blog at work or view online porn at the public library. It's the Techno Privacy Scarf!!

Who needs dignity and self-esteemwhen you have porn and privacy?

Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. From "The Greatest Team of All Time" to "The Greatest Super Bowl Flop of All Time." Just like that.

Brady spreads his legs for the Giants defense...

...then bends over for a merciless sodomization.

Riddle me this, Batman: What's 95% cotton, 5% spandex, and 100% totally hot? Why Nintendo Controller Panties of course!

Note to nerds everywhere: Now isnot the time for button mashing.

Flip Saunders + Om nom nom nom = This quote: "[Kendrick] Perkins is eating us up."

As Basketbawful reader Jimmy said: "Maybe he should keep his private life to himself."

One little tap of the Stern Button and the Spurs are on the brink of playoff Armageddon. But while Timmy Duncan is facing it down with his typically stoic calm, Luke Walton is...wetting his little pink princess panties in abject terror. And he's not even on the same team. I mean, Luke is making funny faces we've never seen from anybody -- from any planet. And that's terrrrrrrible!

I was perusing the Yahoo images from last night's game, and I saw this great ass-out image of Pau Gasol playing face-up defense on Kevin Garnett.

I knew I'd seen this awkward squat somehwhere before, and after a little poking around -- I swear by all that's holy that wasn't a pun -- I found it. (Sidenote: Is Timmy giving Pau an off the heezy?)

The Duncan face? Effective. It can move planets, turn back the sands of time, and subtly alter the molecular composition of David West's back. The Tony Parker face? Based on the way his wife beat him down for that "A mouth is a mouth; what's the difference?" comment: Not effective. Just ask Joe Forte.

Today's pictorial evidence of the sad futility of the TP face was sent in by Basketbawful reader Tree, who said: "Not sure if you saw this picture, but it pretty much sums up the Spurs in my mind. I can just hear Parker saying 'I implore you sir, how can that be a foul, he wasn't even rolling around in mock agony for 5 minutes? How did he fool you?'"

The gentlemen at Hardwood Paroxysm polled a very wide range of bloggers and established a series of really cool awards. (Basketbawful got a nod in the "Coach Blogger of the Year" category.) Go check it out to see a list of some of the coolest NBA-related blogs out there.

Boston Celtics: Yes, they won. But they also failed to hold onto a 17-point lead and barely held on to win at home. That didn't exactly instill me with a lot of confidence, even if Ray Allen's jumper finally came home.

The Boston reserves: It was shades of 1987 all over again. No, Larry didn't steal the ball. I'm talking about the lousy bench. The Beantown auxiliaries were "good" for 3 points (1-for-5), 5 rebounds, 2 assists, 4 turnovers, and 4 fouls in 30 minutes of...you know what? That doesn't even count as lack-tion. Bravo to Sam Cassell for avoiding a two trillion by throwing the ball away once. Still, that wasn't as bad as...

Dear My Jump Shot,

Hey, baby. It's me. Your wittle itty Walter Ray bear. It's been so long since I've seen you, baby. So damned long.

Look, I don't know why you walked out on me or where you went. Maybe you're rotting in a dumpster somewhere in Dorchester or Roxbury. Maybe you're chained in a dark basement, all wearing a leather hood and getting regular colonoscopies from some dude named Zed. I don't know. I kind of hope it's one of those two things, because I'd hate to think you left me on your own. Your brutal death and/or abduction and torture would sure make me feel a lot better about myself.

I know times have been tough. I don't stroke you as often as I did in Seattle. I know that. But Baby, times change. We aren't 19 anymore. I can't be strokin' you 20-25 times a night. But those 10-12 times, well, they're quality. Hey, it's more meaningful when you've got to cherish each one, you know?

New Hair with clips
Originally uploaded by m.Lee

I'm a simple man who isn't motivated by frivilous material gain. My Christmas wish is to make life better for everyone. In the immortal words of Patrick Bateman, we need to stop terrorism and end world hunger. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.

But if I can't get any of that silly crap, I want THIS:

If you don't think this is freakingcool, we probably hate each other.

Cultivating the eclectic
Originally uploaded by foftychel I was feeling pretty stressed out and awful yesterday, then I saw this and I smiled and then laughed for the first time in awhile.

Check out the statue next to it. Squirrel headed bride! Just another reason for me to love BirdNerd! Not only is she a talented artist, a sweet person but she is cute and funny. And of course she has great taste as well.

Thank you my dear!