Skip to Content

Life: a small series of botched actions

The Book of Dave, by Will Self

In the future, religious extremists rule. They are not, however, Christian or Muslim, but Davist.

Davists are pretty crazy. They don't blow things up, but they don't have to -- they're the only ones around. They have a monopoly on fanaticism, and if you disagree, you'll be broken on the Wheel. Davists believe, among other things, that moms and dads should be separated and that their children must divide their time equally among them. Under no circumstances should a child live with both parents. That’s just crazy, for Dave has forbidden it.

Who’s Dave, you ask? Not a fisherman or carpenter, not a mystic or son of God. No, Dave is a cabbie. A bitter, misogynistic, racist cabbie.

As The Book of Dave begins, we are taken 500 years into the future, to the Kingdom of Ingerland. This country is currently ruled by the PCO, formerly the Public Carriage Office, London's transit authority. So basically the country is ruled by Septa. No wonder they're in a world of shit.

a modern art masterpiece

In the future, instead of following the Bible or the Koran, people follow The Book of Dave. This tome was discovered after the MadeinChina, the creation that occurred after a flood destroyed the world as we currently know it.

The opening chapter of The Book of Dave introduces us to this future world, and to be fair, it’s a difficult chapter. The language is unfamiliar and the reader must frequently consult the glossary of terms at the end of the book. Their customs and creatures (the villagers breed a kind of weird, talking pig that helps to raise their children and is later slaughtered for its meat and oil) are also unfamiliar, which isn't too surprising since this society only rudimentally compares to our own. However, just as we begin to adjust to this bizarre world, we are returned to our own, where things seem much more understandable.

In our time, we meet Dave Rudman, the aforementioned cabbie who is filled with hatred after his wife leaves him and takes his son, Carl. The loss of his son puts Dave in a tailspin: his anger turns to depression, which soon turns to psychosis. Soon, he begins to type his knowledge of the city and his beliefs on how it should be run – and buries it in his son’s backyard, so that he might receive it when the time is right. Hey, he’s crazy. It probably made sense at the time.

Unfortunately, Carl never finds Dave’s book – the people of Ing do, 500 years in the future. Unfortunately, they take Dave’s bile as canon, and his book becomes the foundation for their way of life, influencing their harsh treatment of women and bizarre way of raising children. Even more bizarre is that their entire lifeview is built on Dave’s book – they believe the universe is viewed out of Dave’s windshield and that they are all his fares, which Dave sees in his rearview mirror.

The Book of Dave is not an easy read, but it is an intelligent one that prompts a lot of philosophical questions. Why do we view some things as sacred and not others? Can we be truly assured of the origin of our "divine" texts? For his part, Will Self has to be a genius. He creates a future world complete with its own religion, language, and cosmology just as he skewers the hypocritical world of today.

In fact, my only cavil with Self isn't with the book at all -- it's with his picture that graces the back cover, posted here. This has to be the most stereotypical author photo ever. Here sits our superintelligent author, pipe in hand, seriously glum expression on his face as though to say: My great intelligence, coupled with the general idiocy of the masses, wearies me. I need a smoke.

Now, check out these other photos of Self. How much better are these? He looks fun. He looks human. I’d much rather see these on the cover. This one is rather endearing. This one is odd, but intriguing. This one makes him seem confused, a beleagured genius. Highly likable. And finally, this one is authorly, but not overdone. Hence, it's the pipe that ruins it for me. HENCEFORTH, LET NO AUTHOR BE PHOTOGRAPHED WITH A PIPE. I have decreed it so.

Clearly, I am an expert in these matters. For this reason, I hereby dub myself the Official Approver of Author Photos. If you are an author and would like me to decide upon the picture that will grace the cover of your latest work, don’t hesitate to contact me. I will make sure you don’t look pompous. Don't be afraid; my rates are rather reasonable.*

In a nutshell: A challenging read, but one that is thought-provoking and brilliant. Makes you wonder who really wrote the texts that we revere as sacred. Ooh! I'm going to write my own. The Book of Bibliolatry. Can't wait for the future!

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

*Only if you're rich

Similar entries
  • It's Like This, Cat

    I've been so busy scrapbooking! Pictures of my son are flooding the living room so I figured I'd better do something with them!
    Emily Neville wrote this book in 1963 and it won a Newbery Award. And since it was written in 1963 it was hard to follow some of the slang of the times even though it is a young adult book. Emily writes about a boy named Dave and his cat....named Cat. Through his adventures, Cat leads Dave to meet new people. This cat is always leading Dave astray but some of his mischief leads to good, like meeting a new girl. One thing I kept noticing about this book was the amazing way that Dave could walk out the door and go anywhere he wanted to without letting anyone know. I guess you could still do that in the 60's lol. Anyway, it was a really good book and I would recommend it to anyone, especially those with children. It also filled a lot of my challenges!! Woo Hoo!!

  • The year of self-inflicted torture

    The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs

    My latest review is up at Pajiba, and you may click here to read it. This time I tackled The Year of Living Biblically, by A.J. Jacobs. Basically, the author follows every rule in the Bible for an entire year.

  • grumble, grumble

    What is it about this time of year that just PISSES ME OFF??

    I think it's the people. Sometimes, I just HATE people. Or maybe it's something else. Maybe it's all the emphasis on finding that perfect gift, which I can never seem to do. Maybe it's that sense of good cheer I'm supposed to be feeling at this time of year. Maybe it's the carbs.

    Nah, it's probably the people.

    Hell, even I'M annoying me. That can't be good.

  • A creepy cover with hilarious contents

    The McSweeney's Joke Book of Jokes Books

    Another review for good ol' Pajiba is up - this time on The McSweeney's Joke Book of Jokes Books.

    I wasn't expecting to enjoy this one as much as I did - but there are a few pieces I revisted more than once, and each new read elicited genuine laughter. It was well worth the cost of purchase. Click here to read my review.

    In a nutshell: While not every one is a winner, I have to say The McSweeney's Joke Book of Jokes Books is pretty damn good overall. But damn the cover creeps me out.

    Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

  • Smooth Moves

    Word is that we left Laguna Seca without any victories. Not true! Dave B landed first place in the prestigious post-race dance contest. And just to prove it, we have both this video and picture. Boogie down Dave!

  • well I never saw THAT coming

    The Invention of Morel, by Adolfo Bioy Casares

    The Invention of Morel has been getting a lot of attention recently due to its appearance on Lost. I don’t watch Lost, so don’t expect any great revelations about how Morel explains the show. By the way, are they still on that damn island? I only watch quality television, like Big Brother 9. I like my tv with a side of brainlessness, thank you very much.

    The Invention of Morel begins as our unnamed protagonist, a fugitive from the law, hides on an uninhabited island. One day, mysterious tourists suddenly appear, and our fugitive is frightened they have come searching for him. He needn’t have feared, however; it’s clear they are unaware of him.

  • Embrace your Inner Thetan

    Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography, by Andrew Morton

    I remember being a wee lass and seeing commercials for L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics on tv. It was such a neat commercial – there was a volcano, and a loud, booming voice, and so it seemed to me like a really cool book. Then again, I was eight.

  • If dogs could talk

    The Dogs of Babel, by Carolyn Parkhurst

    I have to say that I have an unhealthy love for my three dogs. (I also have a cat, but she’s a bitch so I don’t speak of her often. No, seriously, she is a ROYAL bitch. She actually had the balls to leave a turd on the floor because I didn’t say hello to her quickly enough. Asshole.)

  • The Longest Title EVER

    The Fall of the House of Bush, by Craig Unger

    My latest review for the good people over at Pajiba is up, for a book that is astounding for, among other things, its amazingly long title: The Fall of the House of Bush: The Untold Story of How a Band of True Believers Seized the Executive Branch, Started the Iraq War, and Still Imperils America's Future.

  • Wherever the fates lead us let us follow

    The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, by Muriel Spark

    On a good day, I believe in signs. I’d like to believe that a superior being guides our lives, and in so doing sends signs, omens, and portents to direct or forestall our behavior. On a bad day, I feel there is only chaos, and while I know some who manage to find comfort in such disorder, I am not one of them.

    Happily enough, I never find more signs than when searching for my next book to read. Without a set course of action, I bebop from book to book, author to author, period to period with no special plan. Many times, I feel a distinct “call” to read a particular novel, and I know its time has come. With few exceptions, each book I’ve been “called” to read has been essential to understanding some facet of my life at that moment. And so it was with The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. The bookish fates worked their magic again.

  • The Total Money Makeover

    Dave Ramsey
    Library Book
    272 pages

    I have always been interested in the subject of finance and had heard of Dave Ramsey and the book "Financial Peace." I didn't know much about his thoughts on finance or debt before I read this book, though, and since reading it, I have started listening to his radio show. He was a millionaire in the 80's and ended up filing bankruptcy. Having determined that he never wanted to be there again, he built his way back and has been teaching his concepts for about 20 years.

  • She walks, she talks, she’s full of chalk

    Soldier's Heart, by Elizabeth Samet

    How do you convince an eighteen-year-old cadet that poetry has any relevance to his life? Poetry seems pretty unimportant in the face of roadside bombs and suicide bombers. Hell, I have a hard time justifying poetry to my eighteen-year-old students, and none of them will ever come close to Iraq. So I read Samet’s Soldier’s Heart with a special interest, although one does not need to be an English teacher to enjoy this memoir.

  • Leaving Simplicity by Claire Carmichael

    Stars: ****

    I got this book for review from Annick Press. I also read it as part of the Baby Steps challenge.

    This book was very interesting. I’m not usually one for Science Fiction type books, especially ones that depict a very high tech future, however this one intrigued me. In this “near-future” advertising has taken on a whole new meaning. Cars have ID so that when you go through a Drive-Thru, a sign overhead can greet you by name. It also automatically debits your account when you make a purchase. Children are outfitted with Safety Sentinel’s which is basically a GPS tracker to keep track of where your children are. There are ads on the back of cars so the car behind it can see them. There are large ads on the sides of buildings. Life-sized dummies just inside stores talk about the stores features and sales. It’s crazy!

  • Thank God this was free

    Larryisms: Book One, by Larry John

    For the record, Larry John seems like a nice guy. He seems like the type who could swig back a few beers, tell a few stories, and eat so much off the grill that you feel like an anorexic supermodel standing next to him. And to that I say: Bravo, Larry John.

    However, a good drinking buddy does not a good author make, so I’m just gonna call this one like I see it right from the get-go: at best, this is a bathroom book, plain and simple. At worst, well, it’s a waste of money, but I got it for free, so no worries on my end.

  • If I could start again, a million miles away

    Saturday, by Ian McEwan

    Oh, shit. I've gone ahead and ruined a good book.

    My biggest gripe with Saturday lies not with McEwan or his work, but rather with myself. It was my fault, you see, for reading Saturday immediately after reading Atonement, a novel which blew me away and knocked me senseless. In short, I was setting myself up for failure, for Saturday is no Atonement.

  • Now THIS one I woulda paid for

    Olive Kitteridge, by Elizabeth Strout

    This is another book that I received through LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program, and at first I was worried it would prove to be another Larryisms. This belief was aided by the cover, which just gave off a whiff of boring (I’m glad to see they changed the design for the final edition). But still poor Olive sat for weeks on end as I delayed and delayed reading it.

  • There are other worlds than these

    Brasyl, by Ian McDonald

    My latest book review for Pajiba is up. This one's for science fiction fans: Ian McDonald's Brasyl.

    Brasyl has won the 2008 British Science Fiction Association Award and was a finalist for both the 2008 Hugo Award and the 2007 Quill Book Awards.

    You may click here to read my review. If you'd like to read the first chapter, click here -- be aware, though, that the first chapter doesn't really do it justice.

    In a nutshell: Brasyl is a must for science-fiction fans, but be prepared to work for this one.

    Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

  • It's too early to do the title thing

    Beautiful Children, by Charles Bock

    My review on Bock's Beautiful Children is up at Pajiba, so click here to read it.

    In a nutshell: A solid debut novel: not perfect, but better than you might think.

    Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

  • Not the best by one of the best

    Life Before Man, by Margaret Atwood

    I’ve commented before that Margaret Atwood can do no wrong in my book. I haven’t read all of what she’s written, but even her mediocre stuff is better than most other writer’s best. She’s one of the few writers whose work I will read without questioning, without reading reviews, or even without perusing the back jacket. If it’s Atwood, it’s in.

  • Sometimes a little negativity can actually be positive

    I found this meme on negative reviews over at the hidden side of a leaf and thought it was interesting. Then I googled "grumpy" and found this grumpy cookie. Now that's what I call kismet.

    But damn I could go for a grumpy cookie right about now. Hell, I'd even take a happy cookie.

    1. When you dislike a book, do you say so in your blog? Why or why not?

    Absolutely, because I believe that books – whether good or bad – should evoke a visceral reaction in the reader. The worst reaction I could have is one of total apathy. In fact, I’d have to say that some of my best reviews were for books I didn’t like.

    2. Do you temper your feelings about books you didn’t like, so as not to completely slam them? Why or why not?

  • The Many Faces of the Book Scarf

    You may remember that I blogged about what not to buy a book lover for Christmas. Although I pride myself on my keen sense of foreshadowing, I never even guessed that this post would result in the best Christmas gift of 2007.

    Oh yes. I got a book scarf. In a black bag. Because, you know, death is ahead.

    Hm.

  • My first, my last, my only Gaiman

    Fragile Things, by Neil Gaiman.

    At heart, I'm a follower. Although I profess to be a true individual who chooses the road not taken and all that, such posturing is often a front. Well I know there is comfort in conformity.

    Such were my thoughts when I purchased my first-ever Neil Gaiman book, Fragile Things.

    For the record, I want to like Neil Gaiman. Everyone else seems to. Everywhere I turn, yet another person is singing Gaiman's praises. With nary a naysayer to be found, I [naively] assumed Gaiman was for me, too. I mean, shit -- Gaiman and Tori Amos (one of my favorite musicians) share an affinity for one another. That must count for something, I reasoned.

  • An Absolutely True Review*

    The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie

    My latest review for Pajiba has been posted on Sherman Alexie's The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. It's for young adults, so I was a little nervous reviewing it, as I always am when reviewing books written for a younger audience. This is, of course, in addition to my already healthy dose of anxiety that accompanies every review I write for Pajiba. They keep you on your toes over there, they do.

    Anyway, this is Sherman Alexie's first novel for young adults, and I have to say I found it quite enjoyable. Usually when reading a book written for teens, I have to keep reminding myself of the fact so that I can avoid being unnecessarily harsh. Thankfully, I didn't need to do much reminding during Diary.

  • Possibly outrageous but definitely boring

    The Zombie Survival Guide, by Max Brooks

    I like books, right? And everyone knows how I just luurve zombies. So if you add the two together, I’ll like the result, right?

    Right?

  • The only relationship advice you'll ever need

    Men Like Bars, Women Don't Have a Penis, by Iron Balz

  • Thank god I didn't waste my money

    Deeper, by Jeff Long

  • pretty much whatever

    King Dork, by Frank Portman

    Nothing defined my teenage years like depressing music and good books, and I know that nearly everyone can agree that music is never better than when you’re in high school. I spent my teens listening to Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson and feeling as though these heroin-addicted men truly understood my adolescent female torment, as evidenced by such classic tunes like "Cake and Sodomy."

  • Get thee to a dermatologist!

    A Spot of Bother, by Mark Haddon

    Having already read (and enjoyed) Mark Haddon’s first novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, I was excited to read his new book, A Spot of Bother. Sure, it's not technically new -- it's been out for awhile -- but it's newly in paperback, so let's not argue over semantics, okay?

  • Cover blurbs finally got it right: this book is perfection

    Atonement, by Ian McEwan

    There are certain books that, after having finished them, one almost weeps for the experience. Reading Atonement, my first McEwan novel, was just such an event.

  • Willie's Dad by Stanley Williams

    Stars: **1/2

    Willie’s Dad is a picture book for children who have parents in Prison. Willie is a five year old boy whose father has been in prison almost his whole life and who will be there until he’s a grown man. Willie and his Mother don’t visit his Father very often and when they do, they go with Duane, who is growing attached to Willie’s mom. His father makes a selfless decision and tells Duane to go ahead and marry the mother because Willie needs a dad and he’s a good man.

    The story is pretty good and it’s nice to see a book for children on a subject not often seen. Unfortunately there are quite a few children who have a parent in prison and who could use this book.